Public Speaking – Overcoming My Life-Long Fear
Growing up, I was horribly afraid of my own shadow, strangers and public places. As a little child, I used to hide under my bed when company came and if we went out in public, I was stuck to my mom as a third leg. I have no clue what caused that fear and my parents can’t think of any trauma that happened to me. They just thought I was a very shy child.
In school, I’d have myself sick worrying about having to give a speech in front of the class or sing a recital with the choir in front of the parents. I always chose to be the person behind the scene and not the one in the spot light. I remember my body would shake, my heart would race, my mind went to mush and I’d turn bright red in the face. I didn’t even like to go anywhere by myself, especially if I didn’t know anyone else. Any new environment or change would be painful for me because I’d worry myself to the point that exhaustion.
When it came to my job or owning my own business, I knew I had to get rid of this ridiculous fear. I tried everything I could think of like therapy, desensitizing myself by forcing myself to go out to public places, acupuncture, Reiki, hypnosis, self help books and tapes. I think I tried it all. Along the way, those things did help yet their was always a lot of anxiety attached to going out and having to speak in front of people.
My husband and I did marriage prep for our church and there would be times that I thought my heart would jump through my throat or I got light headed when I had to read my part. I kept praying to God to get me through it. Afterwards, I’d be totally exhausted as if I’d run a marathon.
I’ve been in the construction industry for 28 years and have owned my own commercial/residential interior renovation company. Being a female in the construction industry has had its challenges yet there are many rewards as well. This business really toughened me up. Being in a typically “man’s” world and having to prove myself gave me the incentive to start working through my fears. I had to be around all kinds of people and clients through the years. I would never say it didn’t bother me, I just learned how to hide it under many masks.
There were times I literally wanted to throw up right before having to present to a construction board or to a discussion panel on various issues. Somehow I managed to get through it even though I was a wreck.
I experienced “Sick Building Syndrome” several times of the years where the toxins in buildings were so great, it put my immune system in overload and I ended up very sick.
Again, through many different types of conventional and non-conventional methods, I had to rebuild my health. It became my passion to educate people about the dangers of toxins that lurk in our homes and work places. There was just one little problem. I couldn’t get over my fear of speaking so I turned down many opportunities to speak.
I mostly would talk educate on a very small scale with 2 or 3 people. Word started spreading about my work and I started getting more venues invite me to speak.
In June of 08 I met Joanne Callahan at a mastermind summit and for the first time Thought Field Therapy was introduced to me. I remember her working on two clients using this “weird” tapping thing. I went home and purchased the book “Tapping the Healer Within” and a whole new world opened up to me.
I knew I had finally found a way to safely and natural way to eliminate my fears so that I could live the full life I desired.
In January of 2009 I received a call from an architect who was putting a panel together for a presentation at the Facility Manager Convention in Baltimore. The topic was “How Air Quality and Environmental Quality affects Employee Productivity”.
I was excited and honored to be asked and before I thought about it I said “Sure, I’d love to”. Then I hung up the phone and about had a heart attack when I realized this was a national convention with thousands of people. I had never given a speech like this before let alone at a convention with thousands of people. I was almost paralyzed in fear and ready to call her back and cancel. I had two weeks to put the presentation together and the entire two weeks I kept using the anxiety/stress algorithm from the book.
The day before the presentation I was a wreck and couldn’t stop shaking and my voice was wavering and I had a migraine. I just knew I couldn’t speak feeling like this.
I called doctor Callahan and had a session to work on my fear of public speaking. Over the phone through Voice Technology, Dr. Callahan created a specific series of tapping just for my immediate problem. As I did the tapping sequence he gave to me it was amazing to feel the changes going on in my body. The shaking started to subside, my heart started beating regularly, the red rash started to clear up just in minutes of doing the tapping. He got me from a 10 down to a 4 in just 15 minutes. Then, next thing I knew, I was back up to a 10 and feeling horrible. Dr. Callahan asked what just happened. I told him I hadn’t moved from the spot in my bedroom. He told me something changed and asked did anyone come into the room. I told him my son did to get some money from me. He asked me what is he wearing. I though the meant clothes so I started explaining that. Dr. Callahan then asked if he was wearing any cologne or other scent on. I said he always wears this one cologne which bothers me. He checked and said that his cologne was so toxic to me that it through me into a reversal which brought the fear back. Dr. Callahan had me do a breathing exercise to neutralize the toxin in my system.
Within minutes I started feeling. He got me back down to a 5 when my husband walked in the room and then it went back up to a 10 again. Again, Dr. Callahan asked what just happened. I told him my husband walked in the room. He asked did he have cologne on. I said no he knows not to wear anything around me since I’m so sensitive. Dr. Callahan said he had something on that was toxic to me. Just about then, I got his scent and realized he must have been near my son’s cologne. That cologne was so toxic to me that the residual scent in the house was still strong enough to throw me back into a reversal. Once again, we did the breathing exercise and went back to the tapping. After 35 minutes, Dr. Callahan was able to help me reduce my fear from a 10 to a 1. Dr. Callahan told me to take the tapping sequence with me to the convention and just before I went on stage, do the sequence again. I followed his direction and just before I went on stage I snuck into the ladies room and did the tapping.
It was the most amazing experience. At the last minute the room was changed to another one and the stage was set up differently than I had practiced on during lunch time. One of my videos didn’t load properly when the IT guy set me up so it wouldn’t play so I had to just talk about it. Then at the end, I had an Environmental Hygienist challenge me about some things I brought up in my talk. I was in disbelief that I was able to not only hold my own in spite of the challenges, I felt empowered and great.
At that point, I knew that this life long crippling fear was a thing of the past and I was now set free to go out and educate people on how to build healthier lives at home and their workplace by teaching them about toxins and their affect on our bodies and how TFT is a most wonderful, safe and natural way to eliminate fears and anxieties.
Thank you Dr. Callahan for teaching me TFT and allow a whole new world to open up to me in my healing and construction journey.
If you suffer from the fear of public speaking, try The Five Minute Cure for Public Speaking and Other Fears
photo credit: Wikimania2009
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