As we enter February and approach Valentine’s Day many of us turn our thoughts to our love relationships. Some of us are grateful for the love of our lives, while many others are asking themselves – Why do I always get a loser? – or – How can I find that special person and not sabotage it?

Amouraphobia is at the root of many of the troubles with our love life. It is caused by the very severe personal trauma that virtually everyone one of us has suffered – at one time or another in our lives, loss of a lover. I call this horrible trauma LOVE PAIN. Many may joke about this pain but underneath the humor seethes remnants of the past suffering and terrible LOVE PAIN.

Severe love pain is supposed to only happen to adolescents. Because they are more vulnerable and open to intense romantic love (Romeo and Juliet were adolescents) they do suffer to a greater degree than their elders.

My first book, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU was about amouraphobia and its manifold effects, especially it’s potential for destroying the chance for a happy and fulfilling romantic life – even if you happen to have the ideal partner.

As a result of my theory, I found that those who had suffered severe love pain, in the past, often became severe amouraphobes. I then discovered a very effective treatment for amouraphobia and the severe trauma from the past love loss. It is quite possible, if you do these self-help procedures, you will notice it is easier to give, communicate, and receive romantic love, perhaps better than you have since you were very young.

Many people believe that the most common phobias are fear of public speaking or fear of death. Perhaps not? Based on my decades of experience and clinical practice, I believe the most common fear is, fear of intense romantic love, amouraphobia. I did considerable clinical research on amouraphobia and I found that it caused many problems and was much more common than we realized.

When my book, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU, first came out, it received much media attention. However, at that time, while it was an intriguing topic, I had not yet discovered a treatment for it. Even so, US magazine did a full story on it, Phil Donahue devoted a whole show to the concept and the media devoured it.

Now, however, I understand the phenomenon of amouraphobia, what causes it and the problems it causes in our lives, robbing many of a satisfying and fulfilling romantic relationship.

Surprisingly enough, the same treatment that is needed to relieve love pain is the very same treatment we use on severe traumas. The treatment needed to eliminate the amouraphobia is our common phobia treatment, best used after using the trauma treatment to treat past love pain and grief.

If you miss the free teleclass, we provide free Trauma Self-Help from our web site . This help is available in English, Spanish and a video in Chinese. We will be adding new languages soon. This is the very same, powerful treatment we have used in our trauma relief missions in Rwanda, Kosovo, New Orleans, Uganda and to help our returning veterans.

Roger J. Callahan, Founder and Developer of Thought Field Therapy